Someone said to me a couple of weeks ago that it seems everyone she meets who makes cakes is slim, and why was that? I think she was quite surprised when I referenced back to a few years ago when I was 5 stones heavier, and told her that I used to eat enough cakes to keep Mr Kipling in business! It was then that she said that she wished she could stick to a diet for longer than an hour on a Monday morning...
It really strikes chord with me when I speak to people who say "I wish i could do that" or "I wish i had your will power". I don't want to sound patronising, but it makes me so sad as I used to feel exactly the same when I heard about people losing weight. Now I know that I can do it, that I could have done it sooner, and that I continue to do it every day, which shows that those who doubt themselves really can do it too - in these situations I just want to find a way to make people believe in themselves.
It really strikes chord with me when I speak to people who say "I wish i could do that" or "I wish i had your will power". I don't want to sound patronising, but it makes me so sad as I used to feel exactly the same when I heard about people losing weight. Now I know that I can do it, that I could have done it sooner, and that I continue to do it every day, which shows that those who doubt themselves really can do it too - in these situations I just want to find a way to make people believe in themselves.
In my personal opinion (purely based on speaking to others on weight loss forums) I think one of the biggest issues when people want to lose weight is not being realistic. It's so easy to throw ourselves into an all or nothing mindset; one minute being extra good, then having one minor slip up which clouds our judgement and hinders our attempts.
The classic and rookie mistake is to have one "naughty thing/meal/moment" and think "sod it, today/this week is ruined now, I'll have what I fancy now and start again tomorrow" and then proceed to eat everything we have craved for the past week or so, or, eat everything that you we going to deny ourselves over the next period of time when we are 'being good'.
When speaking to my friends about things like this I always find relating sensitive or emotional situations to basic every day examples as the easiest and most tactful way to make a point. In the instance of the rookie mistake mentioned above I suggest people liken it to a vase of flowers, if one individual flower died would you throw away the whole bunch? Of course not, you'd pick out the dead one and then continue to appreciate the others. In a similar way, just because you have one slice of cake or one takeaway, it doesn't mean you need to throw away all your other opportunities to be "good".
This goes hand in hand with the justification thought process we seem to build up as we tell ourselves that one bad day can be cancelled out by not eating enough the next day. Let me tell you a secret - we are going to have days when we eat more than others; we are going to have days when life gets in the way of our good intentions, and we are going to have days when that call from chocolate/kebabs/wine are all too tough to ignore. The trick is to accept these and plan for them. You don't have to feel bad for living, and one of my biggest things when I was first losing weight was that I did not want to have to put my life on hold until I was lighter. I wanted to be able to enjoy life and I wanted to be able to have a nice meal out without feeling guilty.
The classic and rookie mistake is to have one "naughty thing/meal/moment" and think "sod it, today/this week is ruined now, I'll have what I fancy now and start again tomorrow" and then proceed to eat everything we have craved for the past week or so, or, eat everything that you we going to deny ourselves over the next period of time when we are 'being good'.
When speaking to my friends about things like this I always find relating sensitive or emotional situations to basic every day examples as the easiest and most tactful way to make a point. In the instance of the rookie mistake mentioned above I suggest people liken it to a vase of flowers, if one individual flower died would you throw away the whole bunch? Of course not, you'd pick out the dead one and then continue to appreciate the others. In a similar way, just because you have one slice of cake or one takeaway, it doesn't mean you need to throw away all your other opportunities to be "good".
This goes hand in hand with the justification thought process we seem to build up as we tell ourselves that one bad day can be cancelled out by not eating enough the next day. Let me tell you a secret - we are going to have days when we eat more than others; we are going to have days when life gets in the way of our good intentions, and we are going to have days when that call from chocolate/kebabs/wine are all too tough to ignore. The trick is to accept these and plan for them. You don't have to feel bad for living, and one of my biggest things when I was first losing weight was that I did not want to have to put my life on hold until I was lighter. I wanted to be able to enjoy life and I wanted to be able to have a nice meal out without feeling guilty.
 Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't have the dedication, I used to get up between 4 & 5am just to jog (waddle) along the beach before anyone else was awake and could see me! I was fully committed, but I wanted to do it properly. I knew I couldn't give up certain types of food forever and so gathering knowledge was key to me. I wanted to know how some people seemed to always be able to eat what they wanted and not put on weight - surely they couldn't all be blessed with amazing genes and perfect metabolism? I didn't want a quick fix; I wanted what they had and I wanted to do what they did, so I could continue to keep the lbs off without having to deprive myself for the rest of my life. I think one of the key things to do when you want to lose weight is work out why you actually want to do it, to work out what you actually want to achieve, and then to be totally honest with yourself about how much you are willing to suffer in order to achieve it. Deciding whether you would be happy to never ever go out drinking or order in a pizza, or admitting that actually you need those treats and so can realistically only keep on a good run for 6 days a week when you know you have a special meal planned at the end of it, can make all the difference. With this frank approach you can set yourself a plan that actually works for you, and then you remove any guilt when you do have your treat. It's the ability to be honest with yourself that really counts - when we are accountable for our decisions it is then that "I wish I could do that" or "I wish I had your will power" stop being a factor. Anyone can do it, its just a case of deciding what is more important at that moment - the weight loss or picking at that portion of chips? That's the honest choice that we make each time, when we chose the chips it's because our short term desire is stronger than our longer term desire to lose weight at that particular time. 
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By having this approach you can set a target that is realistic and achievable for you. It's better to set out to lose the weight over twice the amount of time, be happy during that time and actually achieve your goal. The other option is to be unrealistic, spend half your time feeling virtuous but starving and the other half guilty for indulging, chances are that the unrealistic option will also result in not meeting your target, or not being able to keep the weight off.
So remember, next time you think "ooooh I'd give anything to be a few lbs lighter" just pause and reconsider that statement. Would you really? Absolutely anything? If so, put the chocolate down. If not, then that's ok, just don't beat yourself up about it...
So remember, next time you think "ooooh I'd give anything to be a few lbs lighter" just pause and reconsider that statement. Would you really? Absolutely anything? If so, put the chocolate down. If not, then that's ok, just don't beat yourself up about it...
Take care all,
Bu x
(just to add, this is of course all my own musings and is purely relating to the experience I had and that which many others have shared with me. I know there are people who have problems losing weight for reasons such as medical conditions, and in no way am I ignoring or belittling those challenges)
Bu x
(just to add, this is of course all my own musings and is purely relating to the experience I had and that which many others have shared with me. I know there are people who have problems losing weight for reasons such as medical conditions, and in no way am I ignoring or belittling those challenges)
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