Can you get a satnav for life decisions?

Yesterday I was reading a post on one of my favourite blogs (The Vintage Notebook) and reading about the key dates and events that will be defining 2015 for its author.  It made me think, usually I also have a clear idea of what I hope to gain from a year, and will have my benchmarks marked in my Filofax by the end of new years day.  Yet for the first time we are now at 20th Jan, and I have NO clue which direction I’m headed in...

As many of you know, 2014 was a real wake up year for me; I was floored by my anxiety in April and have been battling it since.  This has not only changed the things I can physically and mentally achieve, but has also made me reconsider what counts as real achievement.  How much have I been striving to accomplish because it’s what I think I should accomplish, and how much of my energy has been dedicated to the things that are actually important to me?

There are two particular moments from 2014 that spring to mind when I consider this.  

The first was when I was considering applying for a job.  It was the same as my current role but closer to home, so would have saved me 10 hours travelling time a week (and a small fortune in petrol).  My work life balance from these two factors alone could have changed hugely.   I confided in someone and was told not to go for it, that I should stay where I was for a while longer, and I shouldn’t try to move on before I was ready.   My confidence was completely shattered and so I didn’t apply.  A couple of weeks later this person confessed that of course I could have got the new post, but they hadn’t wanted me to.

The second moment was 3 months after my anxiety was diagnosed.  I said to someone that I wanted to dedicate some of my time to do something for Mind, and I was told that I didn’t want to do that, and I wouldn’t be able to make the difference that I wanted to or thought I could.   6 months later and now when I think of that conversation it makes me so angry.  Who says I can’t make a difference?

So, for 2015 here is my plan.  I shall have no set plans.  


Ok, old habits die hard, I shall have no set plans other than the following...  

My focus needs to be on building myself back up, that’s an exciting and large enough goal for me.  I will continue to talk about my anxiety, as if it reduces the stigma for just one person then that is a real difference. Lastly, for every order I receive through BuBakes in 2015 I will donate 25p to Mind.  I think that will do for now… 


Our lesson to start the year with...

Take care lovelies x