If someone had asked me 6 months ago what my thoughts on anxiety were, I’m not sure I would have had many opinions to voice.  I guess I thought it was someone being more worried than usual, and that they were likely to avoid situations that made them feel uneasy.  

If someone were to ask me about it now, I still don’t know quite what I’d say; but that’s because I have been battling with anxiety disorder since April.  

This may be news to a lot of my friends or family who read this (if they do in fact read my blog – what a great way to find out if they do!) as I have kept it largely to myself while trying to work what my anxiety is is all about and how I can control it.  I think I may have worried that people may not know about anxiety, and therefore I haven’t known how to speak to them about it.

Due to this I want to take a few steps to try and communicate about it with people, but not in a preachy way – I want to approach it in a way that actually helps; and think raising awareness about aspects of anxiety in a ‘real’ way is key.

For today I thought I would attempt to describe how feeling edgy and anxious can affect breathing.  It’s one of the main signs of anxiety, and I’m eager to try and explain how it feels to those who have not experienced it.   

So, uneasy breathing…

For those of you who are athletic, think of that feeling when you can’t quite get your breathing right (normally at the beginning of a run) and you are totally aware of the fact.  

You know that you know how to breathe, and you know that you should be able to do so naturally, so why on this occasion won’t it fall into timing.  You try adjusting your stride length or the tempo of your music but it doesn’t help. 

Got that image and recall how frustrating it is? Well that is the feeling – only those moments where your breath catches in your throats can affect someone who is anxious at any time, even when they are sitting down with a cuppa.

Maybe you’re not athletic?  Ok, cast your mind back to a time when you have been faced with lots and lots stairs, or are having to rush along.  You are very aware you’re your fitness is being tested and you can’t breathe properly.  The problem is that you don’t want anyone else to know that you are struggling and so you try to hide the fact, all the time you are getting warmer and warmer… 

If you’re lucky that will be as bad as it gets, but imagine at that point someone starts talking to you, - so you have to try to have a conversation, all the time trying to appear calm but inside wondering when you can gasp for air?  You are conscious of the burning sensation, and the fact that no matter what you do you can’t pretend that everything is “a-ok”... 

If you can cast your mind to those feelings of not being able to inhale enough while trying to subtly gulp as much air as you can, and then add to that the feeling of someone having their hands around your throat while standing on your chest (a very agile someone, it seems!) then you are getting close to how it feels for someone struggling with breathing due to anxiety.  Combine it with a emotions that may include desperation, shame and frustration, and you are there.

The problem with being in this situation (other than the obvious) is that the more you are aware of breathing being an issue the worse it becomes, and the more your breath catches.  Also unlike the other situations, sitting down and taking some time doesn’t automatically rectify the situation.  

What can you do if this is affecting you, or someone you are with?   

Understanding why it happens and escalates does really help.  The slightly ironic thing in this case is the fact that you feel like you can’t inhale but that largely due to the fact that you’re probably not exhaling.  

When you are inhaling in short sharp breaths you can’t suddenly take a deep breath without first exhaling a long breath – go ahead and try it, the attempt at a large in breath will stick in your throat.  

Also when you breathe in a short sharp manner you get chest pain and heaviness due to the stress you have placed on your muscles in your chest (its common to feel like you are having heart problems in a panic attack, but the pain is your chest, not your heart).  

The lack of deep breaths can make you lightheaded and dizzy, it increases your heart rate.   Different people are affected to different levels, if my anxiety turns into a full panic attack I I also get numbness in my hands.  All of these symptoms are scary and can start a downward spiral of panic.  This is why I feel it is important to understand why they are happening, as at least then they are slightly less alarming (only slightly).

So there you have it, I guess my closing point for this post is just to say remember to exhale – I know it’s the opposite of what instincts may say, but I promise it really does help.

If you’ve made it this far then thanks for reading.  I hope that the post has been useful in some way for you even if it’s just slightly increasing awareness or understanding.  

All the very best to everyone 

Bu x

Do you ever have those moments when you don't feel motivated, but you remember feeling motivated, and you wish you could be motivated to feel motivated again?  I hope you have a flicker of recognition at the idea of that, as it would mean that it's not just me, and I'm not going crazy!

Well, it's Wednesday, and it's the week after a four day week.  I don't know about you but I feel like it should be Friday evening already.  I need that motivation and oomph back please...

So what is it that can be done to get back in the zone? Is there an easy fix?  If you know of it do let me know, as I think we could bottle it and make a fortune.  Until then, these are the tips I use.  Usually one of them (or a combinations of a few) is enough to give me that shove.  I hope they may do the same for you...

- Have a focus - often I feel overwhelmed and that is what leads to my demotivation.  If there are too many things to focus on none of them seem to have enough importance to be completed.  It's better to do one job whole arsed, than two jobs half arsed...

- Take it a step at a time.  Do you have a room you want to clear out but you can't handle the idea of starting it as it will take forever?  It won;t take forever.  Do one shelf, one cupboard.  Commit to a baby step each day and you will get there.  Your goal can be made up of lots of little goals.

- Think about the benefits after you complete a task, not the difficulties you may have in tackling it.  Write them down, post them somewhere visible.  Be strict with yourself and treat those benefits as your mantra.  Keep reminding yourself and the benefits will feel stronger and you will be pulled towards them.

- Bottle your motivation - plan ahead!  Do you know you will have motivation peaks and ebbs?  See if you can top up in advance for when you have an ebb.  For example, do you batch cook at weekends to save time/money in the week, but sometimes you just don't have the energy? Next time you are in the zone cook double the amount.  A buffer if you will, so that you can get away with it next time you have a slump.  

- Try not to let yourself get demotivated.  It can be like a spiral, and we often know that we are heading downward and towards a grey patch.  Next time you feel that niggle remind yourself  "If I am fed up with starting over I have to stop giving up!"

- Get off the computer (unless you are reading this blog at the time!) and get outside. Even if just for 5 minutes.  Get out there for an aimless wander around.  Not only will the fresh air do you good, but when you return to a task the break from it will have given you a chance to refocus.

Do you have any tricks you use to get re-motivated?   The more we share, the more we may find that work for us!

Have a great and productive day/morning/afternoon/evening all, I'm off to grab a very large coffee - Bu x