Holidays... Super relaxing, all inclusive holidays. Nothing to do but lay in the sun, eat, drink and read the mountain of books that have been piling up on my 'to re-read' list.
Sounds idyllic doesn't it? I thought so too.
Well it's day 6 of our 'escape for some sun' and so far this has been our break away:
Travel to Tunisia, arrive at airport, wait for as long as possible before admitting our luggage wasn't with us, travel to resort, realise Mr BB (Mr BuBakes) has left his passport at the airport, be told our luggage has been found, return to the airport, be told they only have Mr BBs case, collect passport and one case, return to hotel, sleep.
Lay in bikini that I'd packed in my hand luggage, have dinner in clothes bought in local shop (called Ali Babas, which catered for the tourists wanting to buy 'local gear' and therefore looking like a reject from the cast of Aladdin) sleep
Be told my luggage is in Stansted (having visited Glasgow), lay in same bikini as day 2, have dinner in my panto fancy dress again, sleep.
Lay in same bikini as days 2 & 3, have dinner in my costume again, be told I need to go to the airport at 8.30pm for my luggage, return from airport at 11.30pm, try to sleep
Overnight of day 4
The nicest way to put this is that I was rather poorly. Repeatedly.
Lay in bed unable to move, start downloading a movie onto my iPad at 8am, watch amazing thunderstorm, sleep
Lay on bed, sit on balcony, eat a bread roll and some fruit, read a book, watch more storms, check at 9.30pm whether my film has finished downloading -it still hasn't, start writing blog post about positivity...
Well, part of my therapy for my anxiety disorder is CBT (am having it quite intensively too; a session every week for 12 weeks, complete with homework!) and something we've been talking about is positivity.
I feel I have always been able to find the positives for other people, but not necessarily for myself. I don't think I'm negative, but I do like to play devils advocate with my situations. Considering "what if" or "yes, but" has always (I felt) helped me see a more rounded version of what was happening. However maybe sometimes for myself I'm faster to discover the possible negatives than the rays of light.
So there is one day left in sunny (yet rainy and thundery) Tunisia, how to sum it up in a way that would do my therapist proud?
- I have learned I can live for four days without all those 'must haves' we convince ourselves we need
- I have learned that I could be an extra in a stage show of Aladdin if the opportunity ever arose
- I have learned that I can almost follow an episode of Family Guy in German (did I mention the tv here had only one English speaking channel, and that was just news on a half hourly loop?!)
- I have probably lost a few lbs
- I have seen some of the most incredible lightning I have ever experienced (videos to follow when I return to civilisation and a decent wifi connection)
- I know to keep a few films on my iPad "just in case"
- I have no tan lines
- I only have a smattering of freckles rather than the usual face full, meaning I don't look 17 again
- I have seen a lot of very distressing stories on the news, which have reminded me frequently how lucky I am to live where I do, and how fortunate I am to be surrounded by the people I am. We should never take that for granted
- My medication for my anxiety had been packed in Mr BBs case. The one thing I NEEDED was here from day 1 (well, 2 things if you count Mr BB!)
Perhaps the biggest positive of all is that I have learned a very valuable lesson:
"Don't sweat the small stuff"
Seriously, there is so much happening to us all that we have no control over. If we can identify these things and direct our energy into making the outcomes of such occurrences as good as possible, then surely that's the best path to take?
Bad things happening to us does not mean we deserve them, or that no good thing can come of them - we just occasionally have to try incredibly hard to find that good thing.
I know it's easier said than done, and I'm really not trying to lecture people in some super cheerful or cheesy motivational way. I'm just wanting to highlight that bad stuff happens but it's up to is how we then view it all; as a regular visitor to Vegas, I think perhaps the best cliche to use is that sometimes you just have to do your best with the hand you're dealt.
Take care guys and girls, I look forward to being back in sunny England with you all on Sunday evening!
(Thought of another positive - my laundry load when I get back is going to be minuscule!)