I could apologise for having been off radar blog wise, but to be totally honest I'm not sorry. Life can be really tough sometimes, and one thing I pride myself on these days is not sweeping the uncomfortable aspects of life under the carpet. I don't try to numb difficult feelings, and I certainly don't pretend that everything is ok when it's not. I have a motto in my life at the moment, "you can either let things make you better, or make you bitter" and this leads me onto a secret I want to share with you...
Not only is it ok to not be ok, but sometimes not being ok can lead to you being more ok than you have ever been!
Taking time to process, learn and reflect on life lessons can be so valuable, and this morning I have been having a reflective start to the day. I'm sat with a cup of coffee and I'm thinking about the fact this is my last day as a 35 year old. Here's another secret... I used to dread birthdays. I hated opening gifts in front of people (due to not feeling worthy) and I hated feeling like I wasn't achieving anything (due to not feeling worthy).
This year though, there's a strange feeling running through me...
This year, I am LOVING it.
My initial reflection of the year has thrown up the following. At the age of 35 I have:
- Been a finalist at the British Wedding Awards, and taken the runner up spot.
- Created the wedding cake for the British Wedding Awards
- Created the cake for The Open University's 50th birthday
- Given a speech about mental health at The Open University's 50th birthday, which was screened around the world!
- Had multiple articles published in Cake Decorating Heaven
- Completed my first year of a social psychology degree
- Been on two yoga retreats
These are amazing, they really are. There are other things though, things that run deeper and mean more. I have had moments in the past year of true game-changing pride. I experienced moments that have nestled themselves into my being, rather than into my memories.
The first was when I watched my husband complete the London Marathon, he truly is my absolute hero. It wasn't just about the run for him, it was two fingers up at ankylosing spondylitis (a chronic condition that affects his spine). As if that wasn't enough, in his fundraising Mr BuBakes was open about his struggles with social anxiety; PLUS he raised thousands for Mind.
The third moment from "year 35" that filled me with pure joy and pride was the evening Mr BuBakes & I were asked to be guide parents to Max, the most special mini person I have had the honour of meeting and getting to know.
Without a doubt it is the greatest compliment I have ever received.
Plus in amongst all of that fabulousness, were (of course) my amazing clients, some amazing events and lots of amazing cakes. Seriously, life may feel very raw at times, but it is so much fun when you get to lick the cake bowl every day!
These are just a few of my favourite cakes from the past year...
Getting to know ourselves, and learning to love ourselves can feel like a task that is often focused solely on what we hope to achieve in the future; but it's so important to stop occasionally and make sure we are celebrating what we have already accomplished.
Surely it's the unshakable joy that is created in those pockets of time, which creates the magic in our lives that we all strive for.
Sending oodles of love to you all!